luck is not on my side

I'm definitely not in the mood rite now and perhaps for the whole day.

I'm sad.

Upset.

Frustrated.

Dissapointed.

Hurt.

I had a high expectation on myself despite the hardness and difficulties that I have to go thru, I believed in myself.

I'd lost hope before, but it turned out that the outcome was better than what I expected.

That's the reason,

I have the slightest hope and confidence that luck will be on my side this time too.

Guess not...

But what's more depressing is that...

I'm not crying.

I can't.

Tears just won't come out.

I had runny nose instead.

Tsk...

Guess I have to cheer up and pretend that there's nothing bothering me.

I'm going to watch my new bias...

SHINee.

They're my new happy drug - as in the thing that made me happy, duh...

AdiossXP

Fanfics

I wrote a ff but currently it's on hiatus.

Why?

Cuz apparently I have silent readers - nobody comment on my ff - xcept a very kind & understanding Malaysian girl who kindly subscribe & comment - Thank U;))

Anyways,

i tried to put the link but it failed for the nth time.

So,

Just help urself searching it on google.

Google Google

Saranghaeyo Sunbaenim

Please...

do subscribe since I need more supports (read:subscriptions)

But...

If possible,

make an account on asianfanfics since u can't comment or subscribe if u're not a member...

Fanfics;))

Eillooo my friends;))

How's it going? heheheh;) Me? Just normal...

So...

Fanfics eh?

I know, I know i'm sooo outdated with dis fanfic stuff... well, what can I say? I fell in love with it. and now I found myself stuck reading every single ff there is - only those with my bias in it=P

Who would've ever thought that i'll have a crush with - uhm, well first : Minho SHINee, then Kim Jaejoong, after that even up till now Jonghyun SHINee.

Every day I'll just keep on checking new & interesting Jonghyun's ff. I can finished reading a 100++ chapters in just a day and i dun give it a damn even if the dark circle around my eyes are getting more circular(?)... heheh whatever...

So...

I'm currently - well not exactly currently since it's on hiatus- writing a fanfic.

Surprise surprise since i finally decided posting & sharing it with others.

Some of my friends know how many ff i've been writing & how many of them that sadly & unconciously got deleted.

Well,

I'm moving on with a new one which has nothing to do with those that I've wrote before.

It's not finished yet.

I purposely put it on hiatus since I've got silence reader - nobody comment my ff xcept there's one very kind & understanding Malaysian girl that kindly subscribe & comment on my ff.

Anyways,

it's a story where i put Kibum as in super junior's unactive member Kim Kibum as the main character. True, he's not exactly my bias but he used to be one. I just happened to think that he'll be perfect for my ff.

And,

I'm extremely (read: desparately) hoping that u guys can check out my ff.

If possible,

make an account on asianfanfics since i need more supports (read:subscriptions).

U can't subscribe if u're not a member, just so u know;))

Here's the link:

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/89442/saranghaeyo-sunbaenim-kimkibum-korean-taecyeon

Please...

do subscribe and i'll immediately update it ASAP...

Thank U

I Love U<3

Raya 2011 - part 2

as i promised, the series of raya pics continues...

me and haris (cousin) - 2nd day raya

my cousin's newborn baby : baby fariz;)

haris with baby fariz

back row(from left):jojo,auntie na,kak nolly,me

middle:ain,sofea,adik

sitting:angah,achik,faiz

ayah sitting on the corner of the pic=)

all my aunties,cousins,siblings and ibu

waahh.. too many people,some even not recognizeable - basically these are the 4th generation of Mydin's family,and obviously just a portion of us in the pic.

Raya 2011

It's 5th syawal today. and i'm done collecting duit raya since everybody has already came Yulek on the 1st day of raya.

and on the next day, we went to selayang and gombak. 4 houses in total.

3rd day raya, Bukit Jelutong and taman saga. during the night, we celebrated my cousin, ELIS SURAYA 'cos she's going to canada to further her study. actually she went today at 10.15am and it's really sad :'( since we'll not be able to see each other for the next 2 years. by then, i've finished my diploma already, Insyaallah.

today my raya schedule is empty. but i have an open house tomorrow at Jojo's house. by 6.30pm tomorrow, i'm going back to Melaka:'( - which means bye2 raya, hello tests, assignments, torture + struggle, and final exams. HATE IT!!!

Anyways, these are some of my raya pics - not some, but only one portion of it. i'll upload more - if i remember=)

me with haris=)

from left: ain(sister),me,suraya(cousin),kak nolly(cousin) =)

all girls : me, suraya, kak nolly, sofea=)

my grandparents : wan and mak=)

before anybody came on 1st syawal : sofea, me, ibu, ain=)

a matter of disbelief

This is Park Hae jin. He's an actor and he has schizophrenia (i hope i spell it right)

Hard to believe, eh? i know... and dats what i've been thinking diz days... so good looking, yet suffers a mental illness...

i first saw him on FO which is not long ago - only a few weeks ago specifically. he's chunhee's replacement in dat show. Haejin is such a charmer though he's not as charming and cute as seunggi but he got his own thing - he can cook.

the thing is, what bother me the most is not the fact dat he's a schizophrenic - again i hope i spell it right - but the criticize dat he got from other people saying dat he's making up the story bout the disease so dat he can get an exemption from going to the service. i mean, why on earth would he made up such a lie just because of the army thing? it really doesnt make any sense at all. it doesnt do anything except embarrasing him. i may not know him dat well, but if he's really dat desperate, i dont think he'll go as far as saying "I'm a schizophrenic" to public.

anyways, ignore those people haejin oppa. u got mine and other understanding people's supports. We believe you.

SALAM RAMADHAN & AIDILFITRI

Nothing much to say, just Selamat Hari Raya to everyone - my family, friends, etc...

May u have a merry and joyous Aidilfitri dis year with ur loved ones;)

I'll be home for Raya tomorrow morning with my KL friends - Fida, Idora, and Nik. I'm suppose to get on the bus at 11.45am which means i'll be arriving at around 1pm. after that, i'm going to go shopping for my baju raya with my mom as promised. i extremely hope dat i can get my jubah dat i want so badly... what worries me the most is the fact dat i might not find the right size for myself... no matter what, i want a jubah on dis hari raya.

SALAM RAMADHAN & AIDILFITRI

Today is Ramadhan 26th, which means we're going to celebrate hari raya in less than a week. I'm still here now in Lendu - on my bed specifically having 2 classes today at 2.30pm till 6.30pm. Life's sucks sometimes...

Anyways, I'm taking dis opportunity to wish Selamat Berpuasa to all Muslims since it still not too late=)

THANK YOUs & SORRYs

I am sincerely dedicating dis post to all my friends and family that has been with me throughout dis years. i know i haven't been dat good to everyone and maybe what hurts people the most is when i forgot to say this 2 simple but meaningful words : THANK YOU, I'M SORRY

i admit dat i always tend to forget to say THANK YOU to anyone dat has helped me or done me a favor. i mean what is it dat so hard for me to say the word? i won't deny dat it's all my faults. the blame is on me...

And for dat - I'M SORRY. just like the song - Sorry seems to be the hardest word - i kinda can relate to the song since it it the hardest word for me to say. it's not dat i'm arrogant, cocky, ignorant, etc. i just find it hard to do so...

Anyways, my cousin sent me a text 2 days ago saying dat she's going back to Bangkok the day after. she's not gonna celebrate hari raya wit all of us here in KL. so sad :'(

new start, new life...

Finally i'm in my 3rd semester. I't's been a year or so since i become a university students... Some things are good while some things just sucks. I love it here cuz i got to make new friends. U know, meet some cool people, do some cool stuff, etc... I love it here cuz i got become more independent and mature since i'm kilometres away from my family. And by this way i can see where my weaknesses and strengths are. My family - specially Ibu is my backbones. Being here without them, only then i could see if i actually can stand on my own feet.
But one thing that hate the most is when i have so many things to buy with very little cash in hand - and bank too:'(
I really hate it when i have to borrow money. Totally not a good feeling when u know u're in some kind of debt though the person u're borrowing from is ur own family or friend. It's a state of hating a part of urself. Maybe some lucky people might not gonna understand what i'm talking about cuz well... they're lucky. While some might feel like i'm talking bout their life experiences...
I wish money come falling from the sky... Just like rain pouring down every once in a while.

I wish money grows on trees.By that way, i can pluck some cash whenever i want. Pluck one, two or three more will grow. And i'll never run out of money:)

Dream on, sister...

it's been a while

안녕, 내 친구 - annyeong , nae chingu

it's been quite a while since i last updated my blog.... why? too busy with tests, quizzes, assignment n stuff...

and on top of dat, i'm having account test 2morrow which is my least fav subject (?) - actually it's not even in my fav subject list. to make matter worse, i dun even hve the mood to study... i just did 1 question n dat's all. i'm done for now=P

i might be doing a revision with nik later at around 1am... oh! nope... i'm going to study with some of my classmates after diz...

안녕 - annyeong

Call Me Ms Director

i'm definitely bored 2day. as always, wednesdays are my day 2 be a couch potato except dat i dun watch tv. i mean, walking down the stairs just 2 watch tv is a big no-no for me. i'm living in the top level of the college building. if u count from the bottom level, my room is in the 5th floor. dat's really high.

nways, since i dun hve anything 2 do 2day n i'm not dat nice 2 study or finish my homework... so i did something dat i've never done b4. it's quite fun actually;)) but dun think it other way. it wasn't anything wrong. as u can see, the title is 'Call Me Ms Director' so dat means i directed something laterally.

no description(?)

nothing much happened lately so there's nothing much 2 tell too... i've just been quite busy wit tests n stuff...

i'm falling in love wit 2pm day by day=) it's just me n myself since dora, fida, & nik are always bout bb... so i'm trying 2 keep myself up2date wit 2pm's latest news n vids. 2pm- being themselves are funny n adorable. but there are the times dat they can make me teared up wit their sincerity & brotherhood:'(







btw, i still hven't 4gotten super junior though they dun hve new album yet. they're my first idol group crush n they'll always be... 2pm comes 2nd. nways, heechul got injured on ss3 in shanghai the other day. poor chullie oppa:(

MGIAG =))

i just done watching MGIAG slash My Girlfriend is a Gumiho last sunday wit fida. it was definitely the anti-cliche kinda story. i've never watch or heard of any drama or movie dat has dat kind of plot. even until the last ep, u won't be able 2 guess what happens next. MGIAG is totally diff from other malay or hollywood or japanese or korean drama out there... love it for the originality - love it more for having lee seunggi as the main and no minwoo as the 2nd hero... omg, they're both equally hot in the drama!!!





i've always been in love wit seunggi in fact he's my first korean crush long before i know donghae and nichkhun=)) he's like the sweetest thing ever! i first saw him on tv a few years ago. at dat time, i was by myself at home wit nothing 2 do so i keep changing the channel on tv - try 2 entertain myself since there's no interesting show... and i think of it as my destiny 2 accidentally press the number 303 on the remote. it was the kbs channel b4 if u still remember. well, 2 make the story short, the show 2days and 1night was airing at dat time. and seunggi is the only celebrity wit decent look on dat show - haha=D trying 2 put kang hodong, sugeun and mc mong's faces 2gether wit seunggi's on the same picture... it's funny;))

as always, bcause of me, my whole family watch 2days and 1night. even my mom admire seunggi. she said dat he's very friendly and a sweet looking guy despite his thick upper lip and hidung penyek... it's okay, at least he's original. never gone under the knife.





his pairing wit shin min ah is almost perfect - can't say it's perfect cuz i'm not her fan. but as long as it's not snsd's yoona then it's fine. can't and wouldn't understand why/how seunggi can have a crush on her... she's just so whatever! anyways, i love his character as cha dae woong in MGIAG cuz it's very unlike the real him. dae woong is unbelievably unbelievable and ridiculous. i always like when there's kind of character in movie or drama specially when they're the lead actor/actress... heh3;))
no wonder uee, park shin hye, and honggi made a cameo in the drama since the writer is the same person dat wrote He's Beautiful and My Girl...

lotsa.. lotsa news=))

i'm sleepy, tired, unenergetic, bla.. bla... diz week has been quite hectic and it looks like it's gonna be even more exhausting through out the week... blehhh:P
These are my have-2-do-list 4 diz week:

1. submit eco's assignment - later 2day
2. study qmt for quiz - done yesterday
3. finish FAR's exercise - done yesterday's, 2day's not yet:P
4. revise for eco's test on thurs - not yet
5. revise for qmt's test on fri - not yet
6. college's gotong royong - not yet

there's a lot more coming dat i already 4got those things....

lalala~~~ yayaya~~~

aww..... so cute, so sweet, so lovely, so romantic... i like it damn much!!! wooyoungie finally had a bobo scene wit iu;)) well, it wasn't actually a kiss since they didn't really show it. and i think it was even more romantic n sweet like dat rather than those other kisses. very 'yuckie'!

though i haven't had the chance 2 really watch dream high just yet, but i like 2 keep myself up2date wit the latest plot... and fyi- for those dat has been following the drama every week, u might wonder which ep is diz... well, it hasn't been aired yet here in msia. diz scene is on the 15th ep which is the 2nd last ep if i'm not mistaken... looking 4ward for the full ep 2 be aired. so sweet:)

i ♥ jesse mccartney

jesse mccartney...my used-2-be-crush

i used 2 hve a crush on the cutie boy dat goes by the name of jesse mccartney. his looks was really adorable, his smile was a killer one and his cheeks... omg dat i-really-want-2-cubit-dat-kinda-cheek;)) hehe:)

out of the blue, yesterday i searched 4 his mv beautiful soul- which is the first song slash mv of his dat i know. he was so effing cute. jesse's indeed the real starter of boy-next-door kinda entertainer. and his hair... he already had the hairstyle long b4 justinB (i'm definitely not his fan)...
owhh jesse... neomu chuwahaeyo~






but as time flying... his growing up n maturing n aging into a new jesse mccartney or jMac. which... i dun really like. his image, its too... uhm, how to say this? its a little bit sexy + aggressive + i-dunno-how-else-2-describe-u-see-it-urself = jMac

just compare his Beautiful Soul image wit the present Shake style. very contrast... its like a totally diff person. anyhow, i really wish the best 4 jesse doesn't matter how he looks=))

yesterday when i read jay's letter slash confession 2 his fans, jyp, and former bandmate 2pm regarding his case a few years ago... i was touched. it really breaks my heart thinking dat he's no longer one of the 2pm. i mean, when i think back it wasn't his fault. anyone with sane n healthy mind would hve said the same thing like him. okay, maybe not everyone would said dat- almost everyone... it was the backstabber's fault- i guess since i dunno the details about what actually happened.

nways, i think he's really changed after he left 2pm. change 4 gud 4sure... maturing i guess...
but still, i dun get it why does he has to drop out from 2pm. it's not like it can solve everything. no matter what, there're still his fans and the anti(s) waiting 4 him in korea. he didn't hve 2 run away..

me? i suddenly became his supporters when the chaos started not long ago. b4 dat, it never cross my mind how special and funny jay is... it's like it made me think "what a character he has..."
his 'pervert and dirty mind' is really 1 in a million-in idols world of course. who else would say words like nipple, make strange and inappropriate sounds, and expose their upper halves 2 public w/o hesitate if its not jay. even his dongsaengs slash comrades from 2pm didn't do dat. his departure really left such a big impact to them specially khun and woo since they're really close. they were surely upset wit jay's decision 2 back out. i can imagine how they suffered now and then. fyi, 2pm has no leader cuz they never wish 2 replace his position wit anybody. 2pm and HOTTEST still waiting 4 him 2 comeback. though i'm not a registered HOTTEST but i'm on their side-wait and wish 4 jay 2 be one as 2pm just like b4..

*sob..sob..* jay beom i miss u:'(

Singer Jay Park recently made his first official public apology towards his previous agency and group, JYP Entertainment and 2PM.

On February 17th, the singer uploaded his apology onto his official fan cafe, expressing his remorse for disappointing J.Y Park and causing unnecessary and undeserved distress and suffering to the 2PM members.

Check out the full post down below:

Hello, this is Park Jaebum.

Is everyone healthy and doing well?

Now that the weather is getting warmer day by day, I feel that the year has only finally started now.

As I’ve been so preoccupied with preparing new albums, these days I think I’ve been indifferent to the weather, date, and time.

It feels like it was the new year just the other day, but we’re already reaching the last days of February.

It’s not long until I get to meet everyone again either.

That’s why I’ve suddenly had a lot of different thoughts.

I really want to focus on everything with a new mind, and I want to show a new Park Jaebum to the family and fans I love, and to the people who have helped me a lot.

Also, in order for me to fly higher, I also felt that I needed to become a stronger and more mature self regarding past days, which is what I wanted to talk about today.

While I was still active as a 2PM member, there was a time when I disappointed a lot of Korean citizens with my mistakes.

Also, even now I still feel apologetic for disappointing JYP Entertainment’s Park Jin Young PD, who helped raise me both physically and spiritually.

My other mistake was that when I withdrew from 2PM, the members I suffered with together, lived and had fun with together, received undeserved distress from the huge aftermath. I am so sorry to the point where there is nothing I could say to them.

In order to succeed over my past mistakes and faults, I have been working hard with a new agency, and I am doing my best in my activities with new resolutions.

I hope for a lot of your support, and I will meet you all once again with a new album and newer image. Thank you.